Christmas Day!!!!

This has been an epic christmas so far!!! Fire is on, Michael Buble in the background what more do you want!!!! 

There has been a proper lead up to it as well, firstly we had the family photoshoot dun dun dunnnnn! 

Which was probably the most surreal thing I have been though in my life! It started out with the photographer saying "oh you girls pose all the time" NO I DON'T!!! Not the best start and it deteriorated so much that at one point my dad was lying on the floor with me, my sister, and my step sister straddling his back!!! ahhhhh! and being forced to smile while she took a thousand photos! It sounds a lot more sinister than it was, but still pretty weird! Then she really topped it off by bring out the WIND MACHINE!!!!! for our individual pictures! I looked like a statue, it got so bad she made me lean on the wall to "loosen me up" ha ha! and all my dad said was "Don't expect a modeling contract after that" oh god.  

Then for the next festive treat we went last night to midnight mass. Having to sit next to my sister, who was trying to make a statement by not going up for communion and not singing the hymns or praying was pretty awkward. Also she nearly insisted on bringing an ipod! It also didn't help that Ian was dressed in tweed and looked like a Shepard so could have easily been part of the nativity scene. 

So a "stiff drink" was to be had after the mass, so today after drinking two bottles of Cava with my mother last night, I was a bit worse for wear. But now the hair of the dog has set in, and I am back on it! Enjoying Christmas, eating, presents and the general dysfunctional way of it all!  

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! LOVE YOU ALL X X X X X  X X    

Its nearly Christmas!!!!

There is a major difference to last weeks post and this weeks, as now I have friends!!!! It also caused me to be unable to write my blog yesterday, due to my suffering!!! 

We all went to Gus Beamish Cook's house party on saturday night and it caused me to be very very unwell. So unwell that my judgement went out of the window, as after waking up drunk i decided that as i forgot my leggings not to just wear the dress i wore the night before, but just wear a t-shirt and tights!!!! What is going on! I thought that it would be ok as I was wearing a coat, but unfortunately it wasn't a very long coat, and it left little to the imagination! My mother was not happy! Also I think Claire Mc Carthy was partly to blame, by not stopping me!!!  So I had to classily sway into McDonalds and eat everything I could, to soak up the alcohol.

When I arrived home the problems hadn't stopped there, as this was the day that my parents had decided to decorate the house with christmas decorations, and due to my qualifications in art, I was in charge! They where very lucky that I only broke one bauble! Also my sister insisted on calling me 'Fag ash Lill' and 'Hobo' for the whole evening, which wasn't very nice! My ankle is also suffering due to the rash decision to throw myself down the college hill in the snow with everyone else, not the best move considering I had my cast off the day before!! Oh dear! But it will be ok, I will just ignore it, until it gets better :s 

Also is anyone else really achey from that experience?? Or just me?? 

Anyway I am better now, and pleased to have everyone back! Thank you Gus for having us all over, your parents probably think I am a mad woman, after seeing me leave the house! Sorry! x x x    

My Weekend

God I am half way through the most depressing few days of my life! I have been on my own for two days now, as my parents have gone away and i have no social life lol. So I haven't actually had a conversation with a human being face to face for over 48 hours, also my craziness is heightened by being in my house on my own! 

Surprise Surprise I am scared of the dark lol, so I am leaving on the lights late at night,  just incase any mass murders want to attack me, so when they walk past they think there are loads of people in the house and I am incredibly popular, and not just a pathetic 19 year old which needs to grow up! Lol. I feel like the boy from home alone, although his parents actually forgot him, and mine have just chosen to go without me! 

But there is a problem with this plan, as all the bulbs are running out and soon I will be living in darkness!!! As I don't know how to screw in a light bulb!!! Oh God it sounds like a bad joke!!! I need some lessons in looking after myself! I am very very ashamed, but all we have is environmental bulbs, which are impossible!!!!!! I can not wait for all of you 2 come home and keep me company!!!!!! so so excited for next weekend and Christmas! Although I did watch Shawshank Redemption this weekend for the first time and it did defentially put things into perspective a bit more lol. 

The most exciting thing that has happened to me this weekend is that a boy I don't know text me by accident thinking that I was someone else. When I told him my name and that he had the wrong number, this is what he text me back- "No sorry babe i think i've definitely got the wrong numba. Unless ur a supermodel and then in that case i know u! X" (Needless to say I didn't text back) 

Jesus Christ this is bad!!!!!!!! Come home soon!!!!!! x x x x  x x   

2 Weeks on my own :(

I have been left on my own for a few hours now and I miss Mum and Ian!!! They have left me to selfishly go to Egypt for two weeks, la de da! They are so funny though, today I have learnt how to put water in the iron, start the dish washer and put a large load of washing on ha ha! Oh how productive!

My mothers parting words where "The house is my life, and if i get back and the house is not there anymore then I will not be able to live, and if you die my life is over" NO PRESSURE! So I have strict orders not to leave the stove or the iron on, like I would even consider cooking or ironing!!! ha ha! So I waved goodbye to them, while Ian was sporting his trilby ha ha, you can tell its holiday time! 

Another concern my mother had after watching the news last night, was that Ian and her would get captured by pirates while they are on holiday lol, so I quickly assured her that if she was captured they would as soon as possible try and return them both. As Ian would be too irritating trying to make friends with the pirates, and mum would be demanding a glass of wine and insisting on cleaning the ship! But just incase she told me, to look after Amy and do the gardening, "As with only three days of college, you have plenty of time to do those things!" So a slightly surreal send off!   

Twilight!!!

I am going to dedicate this post to the love of my life Edward Cullen!!! God I am sad! I saw New Moon at the cinema this week (and missed two hours of college, sorry but sometimes you have to prioritize),  and it was a blur of amazement!! Robert Patternson plays him in real life, and Alice told me that girls are actually cutting themselves in front of him, so he will suck there blood!!! He is quoted to be scared of catching AIDS ha ha! Don't worry Rob I will look after you! I will be seeing it again when my sister comes back from university, so hopefully I will not be so blown away by edward and actually be able to remember the film! oh dear... 

Flynn has promised to buy me a Twilight pillow for christmas, if I promise to write my blog everyday for the week leading up to Christmas! It is a sacrifice I am willing to make! So you will be reading about my dysfunctional family on Christmas day, Oh Joy! 

I am so so excited about the pillow! You will be pleased to know that I am creating a mini Twilight shrine as I have now got all the books, the first film on pirate (in Thai) and the actual dvd, an 'I Love Boys who Sparkle' t- shirt (as vampires sparkle in the sun) from Riannon and a miniature Edward Cullen Doll which Alice kindly got me for my birthday! So a pillow case will be the perfect addition to my obsession! I am sorry but this is what happens when you are left in Bury St Edmunds, well it does for me! Do I turn to drugs, rock and roll or sex??? No TWILIGHT!!!!! X X X X 

Sunday Morninggggg

I am seriously worried about my lack of maternal instinct, today I drank way to much coffee, and became really shaky and nervous and then all these children started messing around with what I wanted to buy in T K Max, and I started talking to them like adults! I bumped into one of them by accident and she looked like she wanted to cry and all i said was "oh sorry" and walked past her!!! I am a monster!! I also visited my friend in my Foundation Course Clare who has a two year old, and all her child did was throw a ball at me while I just sat there! NO MATERNAL INSTINCT! I am getting seriously worried.... I like kittens why can't I communicate to children???  

Also in reference to my last blog, my mum was talking to me how the holly water was running out in the fountain, and she thought that Ian and I where using it! I had to let her down gently and tell her that it was evaporating- but at least we have God in the air!! ha ha. Flynn will be round next weekend with Alice and Jen to get a nice blessing of Holly water so not to worry!  She seems to be over it as she is now singing 'Your not alone' by 10 C C. Such a classic!

Also another horrific thing happened to me today, I have just searched my Dads facebook and one of his ex- girlfriends has left him one of those questions that you send people saying "What kind of flower is Clive Roberts" and she answered "Sunflower" WEIRDDDDDD, Dad you will read this, and I am sorry, but its just not a good! My mum said Dandelion  ha ha ha ha 

That is all for my sunday! x x x x 

Our Lady....

My mother has recently come back from Walsigham and has brought back loads of religious memorabilia to give to family remembers and decorate the house with. When returning home from her pilgrimage she decided that a matching holly water set and fountain for her and her sister would be the perfect gift for christmas "What do you give a woman who has everything, you give her God!". So now we have a Mary shaped holder over our front door light switch! Light switch??? Not the safest thing in the world, Ian thought this too, but there was no way that the light switch would be positioned higher than Jesus' Mother, so Ian had to back down and hammer it into the wall, Ha ha it was quite funny!

Now when I am watching TV i get occasionally doused with holy water by my mother and have to make the sign of the cross, in the hope that I will be better behaved and to become safer! 

The Haverhill Bus

I have had two really tramatic experiences on the Haverhill bus this week. First not so good, someone had an epileptic fit infront of me, and some smart person thought it would be a good idea to roll her on the floor! On a moving bus?? Also it didn't help that the bus driver refused to stop for a while, so we called an ambulance, and where else did the ambulance say it would meet us but right outside Will French's house! When I was bursting for the toilet! No more than then had I wished that I hadn't 'burn't my bridges'! So I spent the whole tramatic event in some considrable pain! (I know, poor me, poor me, the girl was ok and was checked by the ambalence)

The next event was today when I was coming home, the bus stopped to let someone off, and what should happen but the alarm starts going off! It was probably the most irritating noise in the world, but then something happened to make it considrably worse. Due to the bus driver realising that the alarm stopped when you turned all the lights off..... So here I am in the middle of a country lane in a double decker bus with the lights turned off while the Haverhillians tried to create a 'rave'! It was like feeding time at the zoo! Also theirs a boy on there that really scares me (he is about 16 :s) who thought it was funny to bash along the side of the bus while we wait. This lasted for about 20 minutes, finally the bus driver turned on the lights and realised the alarm had stopped and carried on the journey while shouting "Don't smoke up there!!!" with the smell of canabis filtering down to the bottom deck, so we were back to normal????!!!!

Haverhill High Street

I have just been on my second outing in Haverhill, my mum is feed up with pushing me up and down my hill so she is insisting that I walk! As the doctor said I can put weight on my cast after two days, she says that now I am fit and healthy enough get myself around and that "balance isn't everything"! So down Haverhill high street I go hobbling away while all the Haverhillians are asking me while they are outside the pub for a cigarette, wondering how I have done it and what I have broken. I have not the best answer as I say I was dancing, and the classic question comes up "Oh so you are part of a dance squad?" and I have to answer "No" and say I was in a Student Union in London and fell over because the floor was wet, when a man from Haverhill who is outside the pub at 2 o'clock on a week day roles his eyes at you, you know that you are a fool! 

If that isn't bad enough, my mother said she would push me up the hill in the wheel chair and i decide to have a cigarette while sitting in it (not the classist look in the world, while she is pushing me out of breath), then who should appear but my neighbor- who already thinks I am a joke, after dropping out of university and living at home. He just stared at me, and my mum made some joke about me drinking "the falling over juice" and breaking my ankle! Oh dear.... not the best day! x x x x x

And so i broke my ankle....

I have just been on the phone to Addenbrookes Hospital, and they think its approprate to play classic rock on the phone while putting you on hold for a ridiculous amount of time! Then you have to speak to a robot opperator which doesn't understand anything!!! Funnily enough I didn't get an appointment!

Well I broke my ankle on friday night on the dance floor, not a good move- also I made it considrably worse as I thought I could walk it off.... Waking up in the morning with a tree trunk ankle, being hungover and having no charge on my phone or money was not the best experience of my life! Sorry if this is a wingy message but I am coming to the terms with the fact that I will be stuck in my house for a whole month, sob sob lol there where defentally tears! ha ha Everyone was sooooo nice though, It has to be said- especially Douglas Beales for that amazing piggy back along New Cross high street with me missing a shoe!! so so funny looking back on it now, although I was not happy then, I am such an idiot!!!! I think I am going to leave it at that! x x x x x

Visiting my sister!

I have just arrived home from visiting my sister at Keele university! She is having a really good time and has turned into a little rebel while she is away, mum will be lighting a candle for her at church! I got to drink out of the 'bin' last night, which is everyones alcohol mixed together in a big bin with a smiley face on it, where you have to use extra long straws to get it out! Oh those freshers what are they like lol. My sister has actively taken advantage of this and is a regular bin drinker, but don't worry she hasn't changed! One of her flat mates let me know that she and her friend called a meeting this week to discuss there behavior lol. She put pink posted notes on all there doors and has banded certain things like smoking indoors and informing the rule that the george forman grill should be used responsibly ha ha. Some poor boy misread the posit note about the meeting and thought that it was 6:30 am instead of 6:30 pm and woke up early in the morning, cleaned the kitchen and waited in fear of my sister, only for her not to turn up! ha ha ha! So I informed them that amy and I have had regular meetings about my behavior since she could talk lol. x x x 

Should Josh Reid get a Gun????

This isn't even a question really, there is only one real answer NOOOOOO!!! I spent most of the day yesterday going around Bury St Edmunds market and having a look at guns and army gear with him- there is three stalls and one shop dedicated to selling this stuff??? Who knew that Bury really had the market for it, very strange. Also there was loads of parents buying mini army uniforms for there children, which was slightly disturbing! He wants it to shoot cans and stuff like that (but not animals he assures me, which is good)! When having a look at them the guy on the stall said that the gun he wanted had a 30 mitre range and he could (as an expert, which he was very proud of) shoot a single match at that distance! This does not sound safe! I am scared that he is going to either shoot me or himself in the head by accident! Thankfully he didn't buy any of them, this is not really due to my whining about how ridiculous it is but mostly the cost- they are around £100!! why??? but it is still a potential purchase for the future.... oh dear.... x x x 

My cooking!!

I have just nearly killed my parents by trying to cook them polenta!! They are making me be more independent and cook them a meal once a week, this is my second attempt and it is an absolute failure! My mum is running around the house saying "I could kill some vampires" because I have put so much garlic in it!!! I just gave up in the end and put loads of lemon zest, garlic and pepper, not such fail safe ingredients as you would think??? no??? oh dear it hasn't been a good day either I spent the day drawing mushrooms with charcoal and it got so bad that I had to sneak out for a cigarette- like the rebel I am.... 

Also I had the horrific experience of going to the new Haverhill Tesco (where the Haverhillian youths hang out) and trying to remember what polenta looks like, and having to ask a shop assistant who works there what it is, and he didn't know so we both had to go on a bloody ghost hunt looking for it! 

all in all don't think I am going to ever be able to cook, but at least 'the thursday night Jilly cook's' ideas have stopped! x x x x x

My Weekend and Escape from Suffolk!

Just got back from Norwich where my dads family live! And went out on a pub crawl with my dad!!! wooo see all of you enjoying crazy freshers week, all you really needed 2 do is just get drunk with your parents???

It was quite good as I have a smaller cousin so it takes the attention away from me dropping out of university (see i did use the term "dropping out") Although me being single wasn't overlooked, my Nan asked me over the dinner table this afternoon, and said that because I wasn't with anyone i would have to "pay my way more" what does this mean???? Also her cooking has slightly improved so it wasn't a bad weekend all in all. Hope you are all well and missing me ha ha ha x x x x  also i made the big mistake of attempting to take out my braid and failed miserably so now i am going to work tomorrow with a tuft of thread and hair sticking out of my head! oh dear... 

Gay Flowers!!

Guess what I did today??? At the end of my photoshop class I put flowers all around David and me!! Its like we are in a secret garden together, oh yess ;) !! I probably find this way funnier than anyone else, well certainly anyone in my photoshop class, probably because they don't know mine and David's beautiful relationship! Ha ha ha x x x 

Mormons!!

I have been with Josh Reed a lot this week and he has found a new facination with different religions, and most of all Mormons!! So much so that we had a meeting with two of them in the Abbey gardens! They are really nice but a bit intense lol, also there are problems because they are not allowed to be left alone with me, as "it saves them from getting into trouble" ha ha ha (not just me but women in general). We tried to get them to come out last night and even invited ourselves around theirs, although apparently they aren't allowed visitors! Or thats what they say.... 

They look like the men in the picture and have been sent over from Utah and are not even allowed to drink tea!!- some Mormon information for you! 

Also I am watching Strictly Come Dancing with my parents and having to listen to Ian's running commentary- its like the 4 judges votes and then Ian's score!!! "not the best footwork" godddddd 

hope you are well and are appreciating my blog, as I promised!!! x x x x  x x

also Ian has just slapped my mums leg to the music..... :( 

If i met myself I would get really annoyed at me! Gus told me to write this after he said "you would be really pissed off if you had a friend like you" ha ha ha

Gus whining at me

this is my first post for my blog!!! Gus has been teaching me how to use it! hope you enjoy it and there will be much more to come..... x x x x